I need something to believe...?

i agree, you dont need a faith. you dont NEED to believe in something. the world is telling you, you should believe in something when its not necessary. you want to believe in somthing? believe in nature its here when ever you need it, it wont give you false hopes, you dont have to pray to it. you just enjoy it. but since you have a wicca type past i guess you already do.