Why do I not feel alive?

I speak with ease. I am a phenomenal writer. I excel. I have decent friends who often laugh at my jokes. I am in a sturdy relationship that involves weekly . I am often praised. However, I do not understand what it means when people say that that they are excited; I do not believe I have ever been excited. In fact, I am rarely agitated. I am never very happy nor very sad. I do not understand the purpose of emotion, but it seems to be the key component to being alive. Therefore, I do not feel I am a true human. I do not feel alive. I want to learn to have fun because it seems intriguing. How may i go about doing so? I have read manuals on how to enjoy oneself and none are helpful.